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Meal Planning - let's be practical.

Meal Time is one of the moments that can be most pivotal in our day.  There is nothing like coming together at the table, around nourishing food, and connecting.  Even if it is over a can of soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, those moments can mean so much to our relationships as a family. 

But, I think one of the hardest parts of the day as a mom is dinner time.  Or more aptly, the few minutes right before dinner where you panic and think,

"what am I making for dinner? Do I have anything to make for dinner? Do I have to go to the grocery store now, at the worst part of the day? Do I have any money in the budget to just order pizza?"

Please tell me that I am not alone in this. 

And, while I have a soft spot in my heart and my belly for Pizza Hut Pan pizza, I try to make that more of a once-in-a-while occurrence rather than the norm. It means I have to be a little 'practiced', or practical in my home! I have to practice being practical, hahaha!

So, I make a meal plan.  I started having to meal plan when we lived in Kosovo. We worked for a humanitarian organization, and we fed 40-60 kids each day. We would also have to drive 30 minutes away to the nearest grocery store, which even then might simply be 4 different stalls at the open market; and we normally had to fit in 8 other errands while we were in town, so I had to make my time, and our budget count. 

We ran a kindergarten/daycare and they had a specific 'menu' that we stuck to.  Mondays were hard boiled eggs and bread;Tuesdays were fried peppers; Wednesdays were soup; every other Thursday was Pasul (a bean stew), and Fridays were salami and cheese - only the salami over there looked, smelled and tasted suspiciously like bologna.  While I'm sure I have the days all messed up - and I know I have left out a few meals - the routine of knowing what we would be having made it easy for the cook to make a list of what she needed for the next week.  All we needed to do was shop for it. 

And, so I started making a meal plan for my week, also. 

Making a plan helped cut down on time running back and forth to the grocery store (which, if we're honest, didn't happen for quite a few reasons. . . . so, we would just scrounge for what we had at the house, and because food variety was what it was, all we would have found would have been the suspiciously-bologna-salami. no thank you!!)

When we moved back to the United States, I kept up the habit.  In America, we do have the ease and convenience of being able to run to a grocery store whenever we need and find almost any ingredient we could want, but now, I found that I had to meal plan to make sure that I stayed within (or close!) to our budget!! You can fill up your cart, and empty your wallet, really quickly, and find that all you have bought are a family size box of Cheerios, a jug of orange juice, a pack of cheesesticks, bacon, some granola bars, and the fruit gummy snacks that your kids begged you for!

So, I meal plan. It helps me stay on track and (close) on budget. 

There are a few things you need to keep in mind before you start:

1. if you are on a budget, I recommend keeping your grocery budget for buying food separate from your 'eating out' budget.  It is very hard to keep the 2 together and stick to a budget for what you need to buy.  If you have an unlimited budget a. I'm jealous, and b. still having a meal plan will help you prepare for the week
2. pick a day & time of the week that works for you and schedule your shopping on that day. That way you know how many days/meals you have to plan for.  If you are not able to shop on the same day each week, just make sure to plan enough meals to last until your next shopping trip.

So, now we begin!

1/  make a list of all of the meals that you make. Create your family menu!  And, I'm not just talking about homemade-from-scratch-slaved-over-the-stove-for-hours meals.  I'm talking, what do you guys eat??  Just start listing them out:  spaghetti, tacos, boxed mac and cheese, Cheerios with blueberries (except for boxed mac, all of those are on my list!).  Maybe your family loves Costco lasagna - write that down.  This is your start.  These are also your go-tos.  Your 'ace in the hole' meals.  But, I'll explain more about that later.

2/  From that list, you can fill in the days of the week with meals : )

3/  Make your grocery list based on the meals that you will be making! One meal for each night. If you need to, write down lunch meals, too.  Don't forget the snacks that your family likes, and the staples.  In our house, I try to keep back up bottles of mustard, balsamic vinegar, & Dan's salad dressing.  When, we pull out the back up bottle, I buy another one! That way, I won't be caught short without any!! Same with flour, sugar, etc. . . .

-if there doesn't seem to be many meals, that's okay - over time, you will add to it. 

-be realistic about your menu vs. your budget.  I LOVE steak!  But, my budget doesn't.  So, if I want steak, I have to do a little give & take on my meal planning that week.  Steak one night, canned tomato soup and grilled cheese the next : )  It's about balance people.

-Meal plans help to build a flexible structure (oxymoron much?!) into your life.  It is a game plan that you can refer to, but doesn't have to be set in stone.  Sometimes I write down that I will make homemade pizza on a Monday, and then Monday happens, and I realize I don't have time to make my crust from scratch and I didn't buy the Trader Joe's pizza dough. . . .  so I switch that night with 'breakfast for dinner' night. Also, don't forget some of your meals will provide leftovers.  Write that into the meal plan.  And, then, when your kids grow and leftovers don't happen any more, you know your meal plan has to 'flex' again : ) We found ourselves at this point recently, so I asked God to give me a way to add to our grocery budget, so I started selling essential oils!!  I kid you not!!  Our lives will change and grow, a meal plan gives us a tool to work with to navigate those changes graciously.

- Add to your menu!!  you will always keep those good old stand by meals, but as you try new meals, or remember ones you originally forgot, you can add them to your list.  For a while, I would try a new recipe every 2 weeks.  I haven't done that in a while, but have been feeling the need to 'branch out' again : ) It's nice to have some go-to meals, like I was referring to earlier, for the rest of the week so I can bring some creativity for that new meal : )

-I meal plan with my calendar open right in front of me.  There is nothing worse than planning for a tedious meal (lots of cutting and prep!) on a night when I am running back and forth in between sports and music practices!!  UGH!!!!  If I know a week is going to be busy, my meal plan says things like 'hot dogs', 'frozen pizza' and my shopping list is pretty simple. 

- If you are able to schedule a time to do that into your week, DO IT!!! I used to plan the following week's plan on Friday afternoons, and I would love to get back to that.  But, now, Friday afternoons don't work, so I might try for Saturday mornings.  If nothing else happens, I do it Sunday evening.  Because not doing it, isn't an option for me! 

Now, let's take a minute to be transparent. While making a meal plan will help you create your home and feed your family, it isn't easy.  It takes time and work.  I came home this Sunday from driving 4 hours after waking up from shooting an 8 hour wedding the day before, and instead of falling asleep on the living room carpet, I sat on the couch and worked on my meal plan.  But, the peace of mind it helps me with during the week - when I need to be able to take care of all of the moving parts of homework & meetings & sports & church - allows me to be a much happier Mama! 

 And, remember, creating home, even creating a meal plan, is a process.  It may never look perfect, but if it brings a greater sense of connection to my family into my home, then it is successful!!!

 

Will you be my Valentine? - raising humans

This last week, while I drove him to school one morning, Judah kind of started complaining that he didn't have a valentine and that some kids had made fun of him for it.  (***helpful user hint: kids tend to open up and talk when they are in the car!)

Yes, I know. Calm down, Mama Bear.  But, then again. . . actually, Mama Bear, you should probably go take a nap.  I think this is a job for Wonder Woman's lasso of truth!!!

So, after we talked a little about it - he wasn't content with me saying that I would be his valentine (that hurts, Buddy!) - I told him, "then go and find a valentine!" 

Pretty sure his mind literally blew up! Kapow!  He looked at me as through I had sprouted wings. Because we have had many heart to heart conversations about boyfriends and girlfriends and where his heart is and what his heart can handle. 

And, can I be honest?

My amazing, sweet, passionate, kind, caring, smart, good-looking, and sensitive 13-year old's heart absolutely CANNOT handle a girlfriend. And, therefore, it can't handle a Valentine. 

And, here's why:

Prov. 4:23 Guard your heart above all else,
    for it determines the course of your life.

I love my boys. dearly.  I have protected them from harm, cared for them while they were sick, cried with them when they have lost, and celebrated with them when they have won.  It is hard to watch when they struggle through life lessons, even when I know I can't stop all of those life lessons from happening.  I have prayed over them, labored for them, and will continue to work really hard to raise them to live their lives well.  And, in the matter of their heart, I will fight hardest!

Because I know what a broken heart feels like.  I know what happens when a heart gets broken. 

I know that young men and ladies with broken hearts, begin to hold back their heart. 

Their heart is no longer guarded, but locked tightly away, so no one can hurt it again.

I can see the hurt on the faces of kids at my boys' schools - sweet kids, who have been hurt by people in their lives - and it breaks my heart when I watch them hurt others. Have you heard the saying, "hurt people hurt people?" It's a reality that happens to keep others away from the lock to their hearts, because they don't want to feel that pain again. 

Now, I know that a great amount of the pain that happens in life is unavoidable.  We are human, and we are all different from each other.  And, in our differences, we will sometimes hurt each other unintentionally. But, as children, shouldn't our kids be able to deal with just the regular, age-appropriate hurts, without getting into the really deep ones?  You know what I mean . . . . the Love ones? 

So, this is what I walked through with my son:

Okay, Go and get yourself a Valentine.  Then what?  What does that mean?  What does it mean to her? Does it simply mean that she likes you?  But, you don't want to date right now, so her heart only gets hurt a little bit. Does it mean you are boyfriend and girlfriend?  What next?  What do boyfriends and girlfriends do?

Well, according to what my son sees and hears from his peers, they walk around the school being completely gross with their PDAs.  They hook up (yup! that way!) . . .  in ditches!!! Then, when all of that has finished, at whatever level it has been taken to, they break up.  And, some might not show that it hurts them, pretending like it was no big deal; but others, try desperately to stop the pain that they are feeling from the hurt in their heart. Some become depressed. Others try to stem the pain by feeding it with more broken relationships. Finally, some end up in the ER because they simply think the pain is too much and try to kill themselves.  (let's pause right here and allow ourselves to really consider how horrifically sad even the idea of of any of that is! and then to think that is actually happening!) 

But, I'm pretty sure this is an apt description of adult behaviour, too.  And, somehow we think that our teenagers - whose brains, bodies, and hormones haven't even begun to figure themselves out!! - can handle it?!?!?

Now, you can totally call me old-fashioned, and a prude, and whatever else there is to be called.  But, you can't tell me I'm not speaking truth. 

Because, that doesn't even touch the long-term effects of what leaving my son's heart unguarded will do.  The gradual build up of walls around his true heart and emotions - walls that don't allow others in, and don't allow him out.  Or the casual, brash treatment of something that is meant to be intimate and tender; even in the most simplistic form, like holding hands. And, let's not forget the loss of worth that comes from giving up pieces of your heart and body over and over and over. 

Now, the Mama Bear comes out! Because the want to help them determine the BEST course possible for their lives! I want to give them the best start and foundation that they can possibly have.  And, if that all comes from their heart, than you can bet, I will fight like the meanest Mama Grizzly you ever saw to guard their hearts!!!

I am raising men for whom divorce isn't an option. I am trying to raise men who will exercise self-control when it comes to 'being a man'. I am doing my best to raise men who will not give up easily, because they were taught that sometimes you have to wait for the true prize.  They were taught that just because everyone else had a Valentine in 8th grade didn't mean it was the right thing for them. . . . . for their heart. 

Please understand that I say this with no judgement towards anyone. We all have been hurt and are doing our best to carry on through life as honestly and well as we can.  But, I also want you to know that there is a hope and a help.  Maybe, I have been describing you, and you're not very happy with me right no.  Your weren't taught to guard you heart, because no one told you how valuable it was, and you have it locked tightly away.  You've thought, "I've lived this long with it, I guess there's no answer that will help." Or maybe you are looking at you own kiddos and hoping beyond hope that they don't make the same mistakes you did, but you don't know how to help them.  The one answer that has helped us in talking to our boys, is Jesus. 

Because Jesus IS Love. 

[Jesus said to his disciples] Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

In fact, HE did lay down his life for us.  And, showed us how to love completely. 

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

That is what I am teaching my boys the standard of love is.

And, I pray that some Mamas, somewhere, are teaching that to their girls!!!  Because, beside the One who already gave them the greatest gift of love ever, only ONE Valentine will be worthy of their hearts.

And, when those young ladies find my men, they will be so grateful that my boys guarded their hearts and are able to share them completely.

 

 

Can it really be that simple?

Raising children can be challenging.  Am I right?  

Helicopter parenting, authoritative parenting, free-range,attachment parenting, empathetic listening, ADHD, sensory processing disorder. . . . . tantrums, attitudes, emotions, disrespect . . . .learning responsibility, getting good grades, being compassionate mini-humans. . . . . blah, blah, blah!!!!

In all of the touchy-feely, politically correct, no-one-offend-anyone-else culture that we live in today, it can seem completely impossible overwhelming to try to raise your kids! 

And, there are moments when I'm tempted to look back at my childhood and idealize the hard work, respect, and care for others that I was taught as the basis for raising good kids (because, I turned out okay, right?!). But, even that will fail me.  Because I'm still looking at the left over feelings of opinions placed into and on my life by imperfect parents as a guide.   

So. . . . .what should I do?  

The other day, I woke up not feeling well, and since it was a weekend, Daniel told me to stay in bed and rest.  So, I did.  The boys did what boys do with their dad on days when they have nothing else to do. . . . they played video games together.  In our home, this can be a good and bad thing.  There is the whole bonding thing that happens, males being males and all that.  But, there can also be attitudes, hurt feelings, and anger.  So, when the oldest started showing the negative side effects, instead of chewing him out, punishing him, and dragging it all out, Daniel sent him to his room and told him to talk to God about it.  

Dan told me later, "I forgot that doing that works so well!" 

He came out of his room a few minutes later, with a repentant heart, tears, and genuine apologies.  Then, he was able to join back in the game and really get in on the good side effects of that whole male bonding thing (that I totally love, but, if I'm being honest, totally overwhelms me!!  Way too much testosterone!!!)

Instead of going with his normal approach (butt-chewing, frustration, punishments) Dan simply turned the smaller human over to God.

Can it really be that simple?  

 

Yes!!!  Yes, it can be. . . . . but only because we've been leaning on the word of God and it's source from the day they were born.  

Train up a child in the way he should go;
    even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Prov. 22:6 esv

I believe that God still speaks through His word, and because of that, I also believe that I can follow His word and what it tells me to do.  So raising our boys started with showing them that belief by obeying the verses that say to discipline your children. Now there is a whole message I could preach on biblical discipline (actually, I already did. and you can watch it here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EjUR8rAHFE), but because of mine and Dan's belief that God is a good God and would show us the best way to raise our boys, we did what He told us to do, and taught our boys about it as we did.  Every moment of discipline we pointed them to God.  

So, now that they are older, it is just THAT simple to continue to point them to God and allow them to walk out their own relationship with their Good Father!  

~~~~~~~~

This morning I got back from the gym, gave Dan a kiss as he left for work, and started reading my Bible with my warm, delicious cup of coffee.  The boys were still asleep and I got stuck on one verse.  I just sat and mulled that scripture, and allowed God to speak to my heart through it.  I had worship music playing, and I got caught up in one of the songs.  

All of a sudden, I realized that I was standing in my mismatched gym clothes, holding my coffee cup in one hand, lifting the other up in praise, crying, and probably looking pretty silly.  But, my heart was full.  I knew my value, my worth, and I had a better picture of the One who created me.  

And, just like that, I was ready for my day. 

Can it really be that simple?  

Yes, yes, it can be.  

Psalm 119:105

Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.

I love how the message says it:

By your words I can see where I’m going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path. I’ve committed myself and I’ll never turn back from living by your righteous order. Everything’s falling apart on me, God; put me together again with your Word.

And, as I remember that it is that simple for myself, it makes it that much easier to point my boys toward the same source of truth and peace.  

simple.

 

what it is in your home?

"Home is the nicest word there is."  -Laura Ingalls Wilder

We love our home, and we love inviting people into our home.  There are seasons where we aren't able to host as often or as much as we would like, but it is always a constant that we think about and work towards.  

And, as I get ready for people coming over, I clean and prepare so that the house is ready for them.  I can hear my mother's voice reminding me to check the bathroom and make sure there is toilet paper and the trash can isn't full. I try to make my unending piles tidy, or throw it all in my room so at least the general house looks presentable.  If I am cooking dinner, I try to have the meal mostly done, the dishes ready to be filled, and the prep dishes almost caught up!!  

But, you know what?  When people come in, they don't even notice those things.  I mean, some of them might, but most of them don't.  Most of them don't see the fine layer of dust that I really need to take care of on the bookshelf.  They probably don't even bat an eye that a pair of the boys' socks is peeking out from under the couch.  Once, I had a sprig of mistletoe that hung in my house from one Christmas alllllllllllllllllllllllll the way until the next Christmas (and probably a little bit longer than that!) and not one person said anything about it, except my husband who thought I was just ridiculous, but made no move to take it down either!!

I have begun to learn that all of those 'fixes' are not what makes up my home.  Whether or not my house is clean is not what people are actually coming into!!  My home could be immaculately decorated by Joanna Gaines herself, and that still wouldn't be what people walk into (it would look mighty nice, though!)  

See, We have welcomed them into our home, not into our sanitary/perfect/chic/feng shui living space.  (none of those things are bad, but I'll get to that in a bit!)

So, what's that difference look like?  

What does home look like?  

This is a question that I have pondered ever since I first moved into our tiny little 900 sq.ft. single bedroom house on the back lot of a property in Great Falls, MT as a newlywed. It is a question that grew and followed me to the second story home of a Humanitarian Kindergarten/Daycare Center in Kosovo where we shared our home and life with guests from all over the world!  It is still the question that I ask as we grow and change with the shifting seasons and pressures of our lives.  

If your heart is to make your house/apartment/condo/trailer/tent/campground a home, then I think it is a question that you have to answer for yourself.  

I have had people walk into our home and say, "I want to decorate my house just like yours.  I love it."  Of course, I laugh and say Thank You and we carry on with our time together. But, inwardly, I tell them what I'm really thinking.  

Yes! Decorate you house, . . . . but your home can't look like mine.  There's no possibly way.  Because the beauty that makes us different human beings, will be infused into everything we touch, including our homes, so our homes will be beautifully different, too.  And, that, my friend, is AWESOME!!  

And, I worry that sometimes this scares us. This idea of not being able to be like the loveliness we see somewhere else. I know I have looked at magazines full of beautiful homes, and decor, and lovely lighting, and perfectly dressed little kids playing ever so calmly on some freakishly gorgeous rug!!!! and wondered what in the world was wrong with me that my home didn't look like that! 

Come on, be honest!  We compare ourselves to others and come to the conclusion that because our home doesn't look like someone else's that it isn't good enough, and therefore we just aren't very good at making it that way.  It must take a special gift, talent, or a visit from Chip and Joanna (can you tell I would totally die if I got to meet them in person?!) for a house to be lovely, and we weren't bestowed that special something. 

WRONG!!!!!

We have let that lie run in our brains for WAY too long!!  

Your home has to look different than anyone else's because God put different giftings, passions, interests, and dreams inside of it.  And He put them in your home so that they would be communicated through it.  What your home communicates to the world about God is special and unique and so desperately needed.  

So, how do you start figuring out what that looks like?   What is your home supposed to look like?  

I've realized along the way, that I ask myself questions as I process what my home should look like.  They are questions that help me find my heart, and define my priorities for what my home is supposed to look like.  They are also questions that grow and change as my family and I learn and grow and change.  Remember, creating is a process, a journey.  

So, Ask yourself some questions.  But answer them honestly.  Your answers have to reflect your heart, because that is where your home will come from. Also, if you are reading this and you aren't married, answer it for yourself.  

1. What are things we love?  Simply list things you love.  We love God. We love people. We love music.  We love food.  I love color (Dan just has to deal with that one!).  We love letters, words, and books.  
2. Why do we love those things, or what do we love about them?   -We love God for all that He has done for us, and is doing in us. We are a process that He works on every day and we are growing more and more into who He has called us to be.  -We love people and their stories, and laughter in our home over silly games, and babies growing and toddling, and loud kiddos playing together.  We love friends who become family, and crying together over painful pieces of life, and sitting together on the couch watching movies - We love how music can change the atmosphere in our home. We love learning how to play instruments and what it challenges our boys' brains. We love singing and dancing and worship.  - WE LOVE FOOD!  Enough said, right? We love how it comforts us, brings us together in the kitchen and around the table, and makes a reason for others to share in your life. - We love the beauty of creation and the vibrant colors it holds and the variety that it allows and we encourage that in our home. Painting, drawing, clothing, fresh flowers, decor, it all shares an excitement for life and a joy that we aren't able to express without the rainbow - We love reading together.  We love reading alone.  We love how beautiful quotes inspire us to think deeply.  We love the Bible.  We love how positive words bring life!
3. How can I express that love in our home? Here is where you get to start creating your home. How you express the love for the things that are uniquely in your heart will help create an atmosphere and HOME that is beautiful.  Because we love God we have set up rules that turn our hearts and our boys' hearts towards him.  We make it a priority to keep Him as the center of our lives, even when everyday life wants to push him out. We work to learn how to change as He gently teaches us more and more about His heart and character.  Because we love people we decorate in a way that makes space for them to be comfortable.  I decorate with things that little kids can touch and not break, I leave blanket on our couches so that people can cuddle up and be cozy.  We finished our garage so there could be space in our home for our boys to grow and have a place where they can be stinky teenage boys with their friends!  Because we love music I have a piano in my dining room and it gets played, loudly, right when I am making dinner.  We have a drum set in our now finished garage - which is an improvement, because it used to be in the boys' bedroom. We hang our guitars on the wall and include them in the decor.  We have music playing all the time!  Jazz, Classical, Worship, Blues.  It helps wake us up, change our moods, and adjust our hearts. Because we love food I meal plan and grocery shop on a budget. I watch cooking shows that inspire me to try new things.  My boys are learning to cook for themselves.  We have fresh herbs in our garden so I can go out and cut them whenever I need to! Because we love color we painted our walls 16+different colors (the hallway was painted twice before I settled on the grey it is currently!). There are art supplies ready at a moment's notice to allow anyone who wants to doodle, draw, think, or dream to do it with flair. Because we love letters, words, and books we write notes to each other and leave them on the mirror for weeks on end.  We have single letters that spell out different words sitting on our piano. We declare Truth over our lives and days.  We allow handwritten quotes on canvas to be decor. 

 

Now, start making your home look like the things you love.  Make space for those values, passions, and dreams to come out and be shared! Maybe your home is black and white, because you appreciate the simplicity and cleanness of it. Gorgeous.  Maybe you have a gym in your garage because you share your desire for health and fitness with the world. YES!!  Perhaps you want your kiddos to learn how to care for others, so you set up a plan once a month to do a special neighborhood project.  Love it!  

These are some ways that I see other people in my life creating their homes.  And, I love when I get a chance to be invited in.  

I would love to hear from you on this.  How do you create your home?  Are you frustrated with what your home looks like and envision it being something else?  Do you really want to have Chip and Joanna Gaines come over for dinner, too?

: )

Creating Home

When I start looking at the world around me, with all of its craziness; when I talk with friends and hear their heartaches and problems;  when I start to feel stretched beyond my capacity and seek solace and peace - my heart is continually drawn back to one place.  Home.  

I have begun to see a gifting that God has placed in me in my love of home and my creative tilt on how to make it. 

Home can be defined by so many people by so many things.  Maybe it was the house that they grew up in and the memories that it contains.  For some it might be the home of a friend where they were loved and cared for in a manner that covered the lack in their own family.  Home can be a person, it can be a song, and for some it can be a horror.  It breaks my heart when I hear stories that center around the home that speak pain, fear, and death.  

There is no right definition of home, which is the beauty of it.  God, and His perfect love is our ultimate source of goodness, security, and hope.  But, we have they opportunity to carry that into the world.  Especially as believers in Christ.  But, thankfully, the Creator has imprinted his image on every human, and we all have the capacity to create home!  

I have been feeling the need to explore this more.  Both for myself, but perhaps to share with you.  So, here, I start.  

My home is unique because of the people that fill it, but it is not complete!  That isn't because we still don't have baseboards up in our bedroom, or because I still have to finish the back porch furniture.  My house could be in absolutely pristine condition and still be incomplete.  This is because creating home speaks to more than just the physical.  Creating home speaks to hearts, emotions, spirits, and souls.  It nurtures, and harbors, and trains, and protects.  It allows space for the changing and growing of the beings within it.  

And, with any creation, it is a labor and a process.  Is a beautiful piece of art ever finished?  As a creative person, I constantly learn from my projects.  I have yet to create something that was absolutely perfect in my vision, but it was perfect for the need.  And, our homes are our own creative projects.  They may be our absolute most important projects. 

I want to explore how to create a home that speaks the heart and purpose that God has placed within my family, and communicate it to the world.  For me, I will be looking at raising humans (because I have 2 of them, and I am one of them!), cooking - because life happens around a yummy meal and an open table, health (we need to be physically able to create!), decor, heart, work, & world.  

I don't know about you, but with the holidays coming up, this is a perfect time to center my thoughts on what my home is designed to look like by the master Creator, and begin to learn how I can do my best to carry on the creation!!

Creating Home

 

I love camping!!  Love it!  And, while I kind of cook like we're glamping, our digs definitely aren't glam!!

There is something so comforting about simplifying your life for a few days, being completely immersed in God's creation, and slowing down the rhythm of your heart, mind, and body from the incessant GO that seems to never end in 'civilized' society. 

 

We were able to take 2 camping trips over the summer.  One was supposed to be to a magical place called Jackass Meadow.  But, our dreams were crushed 2 weeks before our scheduled trip because the meadow had flooded.  Booooo!  I will try again, because just being able to say that I got to camp at Jackass Meadow is worth camping there!  But, in California, it's a little tough to find camping spots only 2 weeks out. 

So, we REALLY camped.  The way I grew up doing it.  Find an open spot, set up your tent, and call it yours!

Something about camping, and the practice of creating my home for that time, was really needed this year.  The bugs that ate us like we were a Las Vegas buffet were not really needed!  (Notice Caleb's pink protruding ear - yep! bug bites.  I think three of them. And, the one over his sweet little eye!) But, the setting up 'home', making it feel welcome even though it's in the middle of nowhere and dirty as heck, is something that makes me able to breathe deeper and feel as though I am serving a purpose. - Truly, God has been doing something in my heart in this are, but I will save that for another post.  - We all sleep in one tent and, Dan & I zip our sleeping bags together so we're snug. 

 

oh, the camp food.  There is not much better in life than sipping a glass of wine while I cook on a cook stove and over the fire!!!  Hot dogs with pesto mac and cheese on the fire. Marinated pork chops with greek tortellini salad.  Bacon, egg, and cheese breakfast sandwiches. And, Grilled Chicken breast with balsamic roasted veg and pan fried potatoes. . . . . . I love cooking.  I love cooking in my kitchen at home, but I really love cooking in the woods : )

And, this campsite was rough.  We had to literally make our own space.  So we transformed a fallen log into the kitchen and made it work.  It was awesome!!

 

Seriously. Go camping.

 

 

making room

 

John 12:24-25  Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat.  But if it is buried it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over.  In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in you love, you'll have it forever, real and eternal.

I was poking around at my devotional time this morning, reading this scripture, and because my boys weren't out the door yet (and I can't get any real thinking done when they are humming around getting ready to leave!) I was also checking out Facebook and came across this article.  At first I just scrolled by, because really?, who has time to read every article that their friends post? not me. So, I just kept going checking for pictures and real-life updates from my friends and family.  

But, then, I saw it again.  Shared from another source this time. and I realized that the title irked me.  why?  . . . .hmmmm. . . . . 

So, I decided to read it & find out if this title was truly representative of the heart of the whole - and try to figure out why an article title was giving me emotional feelings.  I mean, I do get emotional about everything, but I think I should be able to draw the the line somewhere, right?

I debated not sharing this because my thoughts might very well irk some people, too. . . . So, here goes.  

Truly, I think I can empathize and understand the heart from where this article is coming from. Truly. I want dear, deep, close friends, and am working towards making myself a better one so that I have more.  I believe that God asks us to cultivate a deep heart for our friends. 

But, I don't feel that this is something that I am entitled to. Especially as a Christian, and I worry that in this thinking, Christians are allowing our culture to define how we look at our relationships.

More and more I see this attitude. This attitude that says, 'It's about me. And, really, if it doesn't fit into how I want it to be, then I don't have time for it.' and while I initially agree with this in my flesh, when I step back and view it through the lens of Christ, I am broken that my heart would define my own will so thoughtlessly. 

I know there have been moments of my life where I have been allowed to intentionally work on deep relationships, to share the deepest truths of my life and know that I am truly being heard and accepted.  There are friends who allow me to be raw and real and even ugly in my attitudes - and they still love me! And, the number of people that I feel I can do that with has grown over the years.  It is a blessing.  It is a gift.  

 

Colossians 1:19-20 msg "So spacious is HE (God), so room, that everything in God finds its proper place him without crowding. Not only that, but all the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe - people and things, animals and atoms - get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of this death, his blood that poured down from the cross.

While my human heart wants to be understood and have those deep relationships, THIS is the heart of my Father.  Making room and space for everything!!!  My amazing God included me when he sent his son to die on the cross.  But, that wasn't just for me!  It was for all of mankind.  It was for those who can't go deep right now,  it was for those who don't know how. It was for those who are scared and so they hold back in relationships.  It is for those who have been hurt over and over again and so they have decided they can only give one version of their hearts to people, even if that might appear as though they are fake.  

And, He MADE time for all of them. 

Mark 10:29 “Yes,” Jesus replied, “and I assure you that everyone who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or property {my addition: or friends}, for my sake and for the Good News, ³⁰ will receive now in return a hundred times as many houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and property—along with persecution. And in the world to come that person will have eternal life.

when I consider the moments I have tried to define and classify who I have time for,  who I will allow to be my friend, I am broken. What beautiful, deep friendships have I missed out on?  What beautiful, deep women have I possibly allowed to stay hidden because of my need for own definition of deep friendship?   

If you read that article and agreed, that's okay.  If you shared it, I understand, and there is no judgement.  In fact, there is a place where those desires are very real and special to God.  He knows our hearts and love us!  He wants strong relationships among His daughters!! This is simply an invitation to look at it through the view of the cross.  Through the view of trusting in a Good Father who asks us to lay down our lives for others.  

I believe that as Christian sisters we need to push back on the culture of this world especially in the areas of our relationships.  We are called to live like Christ. simply.

So beautifully and gracefully, God does the fitting and He will provide for my heart.  Over and above what I can ever do on my own.   

 

intentional or accidental?

Create is one of my favorite words in the the entire English language and beyond.  Creér, krijoy, clear, khalaq, stvoriti, dimiourgó, sozdayte, yaratmak.  I'm probably not pronouncing it correctly, but say it in any language you want, and that word represents promise, hope, and the opportunity for something new and beautiful.  

I believe we were created.  I believe that care was taken in the thought of what I would/will be.  I know not everyone believes that, but I believe that there was hope and promise set out for me from the beginning of my days.  

I don't believe that I was an accident that grew out of nothing.  

And, when I was created, I was created in the image of my heavenly Father.  Much like I resemble both sides of my biological family naturally - I get my lips from my dad's side, the shape of my smile from my mom's side, my body shape (for good or bad) I can thank both - my spirit was designed in a beautiful copy of the the master creator!  

So, I can't help but create.  

We, yes, we, can't help but create!  Because that good Father created lots of amazing humans in his image.  And we get our likeness from Him.  There are some characteristics that are innate to our being and cannot be taken away!

 

but, I don't think most of us look at our lives as though we are . . . .creators.  

I know I don't always live like I am a creator.  I sometimes forget who created me, whose family I am a part of . . . and I live like I'm an accident. 

Over-the-top, crazy, too-much, fun, beautiful, loud.  

All of these words and more, have been used to describe me.  As though that is what I am.

While some may be good, they were only being spoken to identify the surface me. They were conclusive, as though that was the only way I was or could be.  

Even now, sometimes, that is how I live.  I forget the holy lineage placed within me that says I can create - I create . . . . and live as though I am simply and accident that is too much for the space around me. Sometimes, I look at what is happening around me - hurt, pain, anger, hopelessness, sorrow - and I begin to think that my circumstances are more than I am.  They are the definition.  

Over the last year, I have been re-learning my love and passion for creation, creativity, and all things that fit in there. Amazingly, we are made in the image of the Divine creator with the creative ability is us.  (yes, You!)

. . . and in the midst of our 'reality' whatever we see around us.  Whatever has been spoken to define us.

Within that, He has given us the power to create. I know you might not see yourself as an artist . . . as a creator.  But you ARE!!!

what are you creating?

When I have caught myself living as an accident, even then I am creating.  The creation process doesn't stop! But, my creations are less than lovely.  I create messes, I create insecurity.  I create an atmosphere of hopelessness.  And, I don't just create it for myself.  When I forget the divine, Holy masterpiece that I am, my lackluster creations infect others, too.  

So, as I have begun learning how much a part of my every day this is.  I am determined to share this.  Because now, I purpose to create over-the-top adventures, too much delicious food to share with too many amazing people. fun moments. beautiful atmosphere where peace covers like a blanket. and loud joy Out loud joy!

My definition is a creator.  The question . . . is 'how will I create?'

Will I create accidentally? making messes, fear, and hopelessness? . . . .

or intentionally - with hope, promise, and an opportunity for something new and beautiful

I know which one I'm going to work at.

The Boatman family

Have I mentioned that I love families??!?!?  I DO!  I love families, and it has been entirely TOO long since I shared my clients on my blog page.  So, we're going to correct that right now!!

I love families because there are no 2 families alike, but they are all beautiful.

The Boatman family is such fun.  I love getting to see families with kiddos that range in age, because they have fun together and you get to see innocence, and care, and sassiness, and fun! 

Thank you, Boatman fam, for letting me capture your sweet family! 

 

What does Easter mean to you?

Today is a poignant day.  Good Friday represents the day that Heaven's heart broke as Christ was crucified for the sin of the entire world.  Thank goodness, I know the rest of the story.  Thank goodness I know that three days later, Heaven's victory cry sounded loud enough for the entire world to hear for the rest of time!!

But, I looked around my house this morning and realized that the only things Easter-ish in the house is 2 bags of plastic Easter eggs waiting on the island for the somebody to do something with them.  Thing 2 wanted to give them to a friend to hide, but that hasn't happened, so there they sit.  

Oh, and the eggs & egg dye.  sitting there, waiting, still in the box.  

Instead, my home looks like mildly organized chaos. Garage project happening means that things are out of place, laundry piles are growing waiting for the machines to be hooked back up and there is all manner of paint brushes, tape, epoxy, goggles, tools, and stir sticks laying around.

Have I totally failed?  

In my heart this is pretty much the most special holiday, second only to Christmas because with Christmas you get a lot more time to eat cookies and blame it on the 'holidays'!  Otherwise, it's a tie.  

But, I worry that you can't see it in how I act.  I realize I don't live it for my children.  Yeah. . . . . I pretty much feel like a failure.

This morning I was reading in Galatians about Freedom. Freedom is also our theme for Easter at church, so I always think it's fun when my personal devotions mesh up with what is happening in life.  But, as we've already established, I've kind of been a failure at Easter this year, so this morning, as I read my Bible, I was overwhelmed as He spoke to me about why Easter is special and why it is real.  (And, thank goodness, it took away failure level for Easter decor) 

"It is for Freedom that Christ has set us free."

"Christ has set us free to live a free life." 

As I sat there and read that. . . . and looked around at my utter failure to show Easter on the outside - thought about the pain that I have caused people and the pain that I have felt because of others - also an utter failure to show Easter on the outside.  What have I done?  

The act of Jesus Christ dying on the cross - taking with Him my sin, my failure, my heartaches . . . .all of my utter failure - is a priceless gift that I can never EVER repay . . . except to try to honor it with my life and invite others into that same freedom.  But, there are so many times that I go and blow it SO big. and, I don't just mean not decorating for Easter.  

But, then, Jesus Christ came back from the dead.  The tomb was open and He wasn't there.  Because His amazing gift of his life wouldn't have been enough if not wrapped in the Victory of His resurrection!!  Because in His victory, I am able to learn to love like Him. In His victory I am safe to know that my heart is held, and that I can come back for grace when I mess up.  

In His victory, I know that the failures on the outside - the un-Easter house, the heartaches and pain - have been exchanged, beautifully, for peace and contentment for the process - both inside and out!

You were near, Though I was distant
Disillusioned I was lost and insecure

Still mercy fought, For my attention
You were waiting at the door, Then I let You in

Trading Your life, For my offenses
For my redemption, You carried all the blame

Breaking the curse, Of our condition
Perfection took our place

 

When only love
Could make a way
You gave Your life
In a beautiful exchange

My burden erased, my life forgiven
There is nothing, that could take this love away

My only desire, and sole ambition
Is to love You just the same

When only love
Could make a way
You gave Your life
In a beautiful exchange

When only love
Could break these chains
You gave Your life
In a beautiful exchange

 

Holy are You God
Holy is Your name
With everything I've got
My heart will sing how I love You

Beautiful Exchange - Hillsong