Raising children can be challenging. Am I right?
Helicopter parenting, authoritative parenting, free-range,attachment parenting, empathetic listening, ADHD, sensory processing disorder. . . . . tantrums, attitudes, emotions, disrespect . . . .learning responsibility, getting good grades, being compassionate mini-humans. . . . . blah, blah, blah!!!!
In all of the touchy-feely, politically correct, no-one-offend-anyone-else culture that we live in today, it can seem completely impossible overwhelming to try to raise your kids!
And, there are moments when I'm tempted to look back at my childhood and idealize the hard work, respect, and care for others that I was taught as the basis for raising good kids (because, I turned out okay, right?!). But, even that will fail me. Because I'm still looking at the left over feelings of opinions placed into and on my life by imperfect parents as a guide.
So. . . . .what should I do?
The other day, I woke up not feeling well, and since it was a weekend, Daniel told me to stay in bed and rest. So, I did. The boys did what boys do with their dad on days when they have nothing else to do. . . . they played video games together. In our home, this can be a good and bad thing. There is the whole bonding thing that happens, males being males and all that. But, there can also be attitudes, hurt feelings, and anger. So, when the oldest started showing the negative side effects, instead of chewing him out, punishing him, and dragging it all out, Daniel sent him to his room and told him to talk to God about it.
Dan told me later, "I forgot that doing that works so well!"
He came out of his room a few minutes later, with a repentant heart, tears, and genuine apologies. Then, he was able to join back in the game and really get in on the good side effects of that whole male bonding thing (that I totally love, but, if I'm being honest, totally overwhelms me!! Way too much testosterone!!!)
Instead of going with his normal approach (butt-chewing, frustration, punishments) Dan simply turned the smaller human over to God.
Can it really be that simple?
Yes!!! Yes, it can be. . . . . but only because we've been leaning on the word of God and it's source from the day they were born.
Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Prov. 22:6 esv
I believe that God still speaks through His word, and because of that, I also believe that I can follow His word and what it tells me to do. So raising our boys started with showing them that belief by obeying the verses that say to discipline your children. Now there is a whole message I could preach on biblical discipline (actually, I already did. and you can watch it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EjUR8rAHFE), but because of mine and Dan's belief that God is a good God and would show us the best way to raise our boys, we did what He told us to do, and taught our boys about it as we did. Every moment of discipline we pointed them to God.
So, now that they are older, it is just THAT simple to continue to point them to God and allow them to walk out their own relationship with their Good Father!
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This morning I got back from the gym, gave Dan a kiss as he left for work, and started reading my Bible with my warm, delicious cup of coffee. The boys were still asleep and I got stuck on one verse. I just sat and mulled that scripture, and allowed God to speak to my heart through it. I had worship music playing, and I got caught up in one of the songs.
All of a sudden, I realized that I was standing in my mismatched gym clothes, holding my coffee cup in one hand, lifting the other up in praise, crying, and probably looking pretty silly. But, my heart was full. I knew my value, my worth, and I had a better picture of the One who created me.
And, just like that, I was ready for my day.
Can it really be that simple?
Yes, yes, it can be.
Psalm 119:105
Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.
I love how the message says it:
By your words I can see where I’m going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path. I’ve committed myself and I’ll never turn back from living by your righteous order. Everything’s falling apart on me, God; put me together again with your Word.
And, as I remember that it is that simple for myself, it makes it that much easier to point my boys toward the same source of truth and peace.
simple.
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